Squidward's Secret Admirer: Part II
by BabySmitty
Summary: Oh no- the secret's out! What will Squidward do? What will his admirer do! Tune in to find out!


Spongebob slammed the front door, then leaned against it, biting his lower lip. He let out a little pained grunt as two heavy streams of tears flowed down his face. Then, all at once, he collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. He hugged his knobby knees to his chest and wept, covering his face with his hands. "Oh Squidward!" he wailed.

"Meow?" a familiar little voice cooed.

"Gary…" Spongebob said. He gave a great sniff and wiped his nose with his tie. "Oh… hey, Gare-bear…" Gary slithered over to him and cuddled up under his legs, purring softly. He nuzzled his owner. The sponge blotted his eyes with his tie and patted Gary's shell gently. "Good boy," he croaked. He continued to cry, but softly, and the sob were fewer.

Suddenly, the door creaked. Gary slithered off with a mew, but Spongebob was too lethargic to budge. As a result, when Patrick opened the door all the way and walked inside, Spongebob was flattened into a little rectangular pancake. "What're you doin' down there?" asked Patrick. He grabbed the top of Spongebob's head, flapped him once like a rug, and he popped back into his usual Spongey shape. He noticed that Spongebob's eyes and nose were red and watery. "Hey, Sponge, did you forget to take your allergy medication again?"

"No, Pat… I've been crying…" admitted Spongebob. He felt himself beginning to whimper again. He hiccupped, never the kind of guy to hold back.

"Oh, why?!" asked Patrick. He gently carried Sponge to the couch and plopped him down. Pat sat down next to him. "Tell ol' Pat what's going on."

"I…" Spongebob sniffled and squeezed his tie anxiously. "I…. Squidward found out about my crush on him… and he rejected me!" Spongebob clutched at his chest and sobbed- a very broken, high-pitched, raspy cry. Patrick gasped. "Was he mean to you?!" he asked, standing up. He looked angry. "If he gave you a hard time, I'LL give him some trouble!" He cupped his fist in his hand threateningly." "No, Pat," said Spongebob. He grabbed Patrick's shoulder and sat him down again. "He was really nice about it…." He sighed, and propped his chin up with his hands. "It just hurts, y'know?"

Patrick nodded. "Yeah," he said softly. "Mindy was really nice about it, too, but I didn't take it well."

"Are you still friends with her?" asked Spongebob.

"With who?" asked Patrick. Spongebob frowned, and Patrick's eyes lit up. "Hey, I have an idea!" said the starfish. "Let's get some ice cream!"

Later, at Goofy Goober's, Sponge and Pat were both a little tipsy from all the sunrises.

"…and –burp!- I don't even know what I saw innnnnn that guy anyway!" Sponge cackled, elbowing Patrick in the ribs. "He'ssss…. A big fat… JERK…. And his VOICE is annnnoying! Annnn he doesn't wear PANTS"

"Yeah- and he's balllld and ha….as a big nose!" Patrick laughed, punctuated by a deafening belch.

"I'MMMM bald and have- hic!- a big nose, you… TURKEY!" Spongebob said, suddenly red with anger. He grabbed Patrick by the neck, albeit limply.

"Whatzzz a TURKEY?!" Patrick retorted angrily.

Suddenly, both of them collapsed onto the counter with laughter. Sponge laughed so much that he wheezed asthmatically. He fell down from his seat and hobbled over to the stage. He grabbed the mic, and tapped it.

"Haaayyyylo?" he asked. "Izzz this thing onn? I'm… -burp!- I'm gonna sing y'allll a song… about … PAIN…. YOU PEOPLE… you people… don't know what it's like…. to loooooooove a squiiiiiiiiiiiid…. Then have your heart broken, broken into piecesssssssss…."

"Oh no… this can't be good," said Pat, a bit more sober than his friend, who was currently crooning his heart out on stage.

"SQUIIIIIIIDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!" sang Spongebob, clutching the microphone to his heart. "WHY HAVE YOU HURT ME SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!"

He abruptly vomited on the stage, and fell over backwards- fortunately not in the vomit. Patrick sprinted up, to find Spongebob fast asleep, snoring loudly. The starfish picked him up, tossed him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and halted to look at the quietly stunned audience.

"Thank you- goodnight!" Pat said, as he rushed out of the ice cream parlor.

All at once, the audience sprung up and cheered.

Spongebob woke up to find himself at home in his bed, with Patrick at his side. Outside, scallops chirped.

"Hey, pal!" Pat said.

"Ow… my head…" Sponge said, clutching at his temples.

"Here, drink this," said Patrick, as he handed his friend a can of soda and some ibuiprophen tablets. "Maaan, that was some bender. The crowd seemed to like your singing, though. Oh- and don't worry about Mr Krabs or your dirty clothes. I talked to him on the phone, then gave you a spongebath." Spongebob looked down and peeled the covers away. Sure enough, he was all cleaned up, and in his soft, cozy pajamas. "Thanks, Patrick," he said appreciatively. "You're a good friend." Patrick handed him an ice pack for his head, the stood up to leave. "I'm gonna let you rest- just sleep it off, buddy."

"Patrick, don't go," Spongebob whined, sounding a bit more pathetic than usual. First the rejection, then the vomiting, then the hangover… he was really hating his life at that moment.

"See ya later, Sponge," said Pat, as he softly closed the door.

Spongebob sighed, and cuddled into his bed- and in a few minutes, he was snoring, with Gary cuddled up to his gurgly tummy.

By the next morning, Spongebob felt well-rested and ready to go to work. He'd had a surprisingly nice slumber, and, looking forward to his job, he had a newfound spring in his step.

But as he entered the restaurant, he froze, and his heart stopped for half a second, as his frightened gaze landed on the cephalopod at the register.

"Act professional, Spongebob," he told himself, sweating nervously. "This is your job. Be mature."

He wordlessly shimmied over to the grill and got to work. He didn't say a peep to Squidward.

Squidward instantly felt a pang of guilt return to him. He'd assumed that Spongebob had taken the previous day off to cry his eyes out- that wouldn't be a stretch, as little Bobby didn't deal with his emotions well.

"Hey, Spongebob," he said, giving him a nice little wave. "How are you today?"

"Good, you?" Spongebob responded quietly, not looking up. He flipped a patty, then pressed it gently into the grill's surface with the back of his spatula. His ability to focus didn't seem impaired, and he looked healthy.

"I'm sorry you couldn't make it to work yesterday- I hope you're feeling better," Squidward said.

"Hm, yeah, thanks," said Spongebob. He flipped the patty again, and it landed perfectly on the sandwich he was holding. He placed a bun on top, then handed the plate to the cashier. "Order up."

Spongebob wasn't very talkative that day. Even when Squidward tried to converse with him, he was lucky to receive a monosyllabic response. And Spongebob never dared to look him in the eye, either.

"Hey, Krabs, I'm going on my lunch break," said Spongebob, grabbing his paper bag from his locker.

"Be back in six minutes," his boss responded.

"Wow, one minute longer than last time!" Spongebob exclaimed, finally breaking into a smile. Squidward looked up from his magazine, and he smiled, too- it was nice to actually see Spongebob happy again, even for just a moment.

Spongebob sat down at a table and dumped the contents of his bag- a sandwich and a thermos- down onto the table. But a piece of paper fluttered out of the bag, too. "Huh?" Curiously, Spongebob picked it up and read it. "To Spongebob, meet me at Weenie Hut Jrs today at 6:15. Come alone." Sponge shrugged, popped the lid off his thermos, and took a big swig of orange juice.

Later that evening, Spongebob walked into the doors of the colorful, sticky cupcake, and gasped to see Squidward sitting at the counter, sipping a milkshake.

"Squidward!" Spongebob wheezed. He started to feel himself having an episode, so he whipped his inhaler out of his pocket, took a deep breath from it, and then stood there, silently trembling.

"Hi, Sponge," Squidward said affably, gesturing for him to come forward. "Just the guy I wanted to see. Hm, their milkshakes aren't bad. I might come back here." He took another slurp of the frozen drink.

"Squidward… why did you ask me to come here?" asked Spongebob. His face burned with shame. He couldn't look at him.

"Here," said Squidward. He handed Spongebob a milkshake- with pink sprinkles on top. He knew his little friend was quite fond of pink.

"Thanks," Spongebob muttered. He took a long, awkward slurp of his drink, then intently studied the grimy surface of the counter.

"Sponge," said Squidward, placing a tentacle on his buddy's shoulder. "I need to talk to you. Can you listen?"

He nodded. "Can you look at me?" Squidward asked. Spongebob looked up at him, his face still burning with humiliation.

"What do you want from me?" he asked softly. He sounded almost angry.

"I just want to talk to you- man to man," Squidward said. He leaned his elbow on the counter and looked at Spongebob intently. "I'm sorry about what happened. Truly I am. I didn't mean to hurt you- in fact, I LIKE you. I like living next door, I like your foghorn alarm in the morning and your high-pitched giggling at night." He sighed, and smiled. "I may not feel the same way you do about me, but I still want to be your friend, Spongebob. Do you think we could still be friends?"

Spongebob's big round eyes welled up with tears. "Yeah… we can still be friends," he squeaked out, smiling a bittersweet smile.

Squidward grimaced. "Please… don't cry," he muttered.

"I won't," Spongebob responded, sniffing. He dried his eyes with his tie, then went back to his drink.

"Hey, Sponge?" asked Squidward, after a couple moments of silence.

"Yeah?" Spongebob said.

"Do you think… you would want to come here again some time? Maybe… once a week?"

Spongebob beamed. "Sure!" he bleated.

"Just don't tell anyone I come here…" grumbled Squidward, looking behind him suspiciously.

"I won't," Sponge said.


End file.
